Memo

To: All Employees
Fr: The Mgt.
Re: New Building Security

All,

In an effort to increase our corporate security, we have installed new electronic locks throughout the campus. The previous key-cards will no longer function with these new locks - however, since the key-cards also double as ID Badges, employees will still be required to wear them on neck lanyards and/or produce them if called upon by building security.

The new security system functions off a DNA Identification/Activation system. Saliva inserted into the locking mechanism is analyzed and access granted if it matches the database. Temperature is also monitored to prevent fraudulent entry, so it is highly recommended that employees place their tongues directly into the identification slot as opposed to merely licking their finger and inserting it. The latter method has resulted in a number of false alarms for building security and will be discouraged.

The new sensors are mounted next to each external and internal door, in the same location as the previous locks, at belt-level. Kneeling pads have been ordered and will arrive in 4-8 weeks, and we ask for everyone to be understanding in the meantime.

Remember, building security is up to the employees, and good security is worth a little personal discomfort.

The Mgt.