In this off-est of off-year elections, we have just two
initiatives in the hopper, and one of them is an initiative to make it easier
to file initiatives. Yes, it is just as recursive as it sounds.
I-517 is an initiative that will set penalties for
interfering with initiative-gatherers, demand that any initiative making
getting sufficient support get on the ballot, and extends the
initiative-gathering season. To no one’s surprise, this initiative is being
fronted by Tim Eyeman’s group, who has made a tidy profit launching initiatives
onto the ballot to keep the government from actually governing.
Now, you would think that I would oppose this initiative
just on the grounds that Tim Eyeman is behind it (and indeed, this is a reason
the anti-campaign uses in their argument in the voter’s pamphlet), but you
would be wrong. I think this is the greatest boon to freedom of speech in the
face of an increasingly limiting government.
Quite simply, should this pass, we should all become
initiative-gatherers. Think of it. Instead of homeless, we have a raft of
signature gatherers at every stoplight who could not be moved on. Instead of
bringing your muskets to an anti-government rally, you bring clipboards. The
Occupy movement passes out brightly-colored vests so that Westlake Center become
awash in people signing one another’s’ petitions. And the government Can’t Do A
Thing, because initiative-gathering speech is specially-protected speech.
For companies, it is even better. I can’t advertise my
smoke-shop near schools, but I can send in a raft of employees into that same
space to gather signatures. Strip joints are illegal in many communities, but I
can parachute women in bikinis in to put an initiative on the local ballot that allow
sexy barista cafes. And, the cool thing is, if we get enough signatures, it is
the responsibility of the community to verify all those sigs and put them on
the ballot! Free advertising! Genius!
I know, we COULD just stop being so draconian about our
normal freedom of speech and freedom of association to allow people actually,
you know, speak and congregate, but that is so old-school. With the I-517 hack
in place, we will be up to our armpits in clipboards and vests, each one pushing
its own agenda, and once we get corporate sponsorship (since that’s part of the
initiative process already (thank you Citizen United)), we can all turn into
our own initiative mavens. I’m thinking of hiring all my unemployed writer friends
as signature gatherers for I-522, sponsored by Monsanto.
We the People become We the Petitioners!
Brilliant!
(And yeah, the above is all sarcasm. Let us have a good chuckle, then vote NO on
this foolishness).
More later
