Saturday, January 08, 2005

State GOP Files Suit Over Playoff

SEATTLE – This evening the Washington State Republican Party filed suit in King County Superior Court to overturn the results of the Seahawks-Rams games, which the Rams won by a single touchdown, 27-20.

“A single touchdown is statistically miniscule over the course of an entire NFL season,” said State GOP Chairman Chris “Quote Me!” Vance, “Therefore the final score is too close to call. We have no other choice but to go to court and demand that the NFL authorize another playoff game immediately to correct this glaring, corrupt oversight.”

Vance also mentioned that he could produce witnesses who clearly saw the last play of the game resulting in a catch in the end zone by the Seahawks, which would have tied the game.

“Given that situation,” continued Vance, “It would be obvious to ‘go for two’, which would have made the outcome a clear Seahawks victory. Only through the obvious interference of the glaring, corrupt referees, who, if not from St. Louis, have relatives in St. Louis or have relatives who KNOW people in St Louis, did the Rams temporarily triumph.”

“It is the will of the people,” noted would-be Governor Dino “Would-Be” Rossi, “You could see it in everyone’s face at the stadium. They wanted the Seahawks to win. Ergo, the Seahawks did win. Not to mention the fact I lost three large to John Ashcroft.”

“I support the playoff process,” stated Rossi, “But when it becomes a question of losing and taking it like a man, I deplore it. In this way I show myself to be a moderate. I strongly support the idea that the Rams and Seahawks continue to play this game until the Seahawks win, into the next season, if necessary.”

The Superior Court has promised to rule on the matter as soon as they stop giggling.

More later,