Porn

Don’t get your hopes up – All links are Safe For Work.

It’s just that there has been a wave of “adult-entertainment” related news in the past few weeks, from local to national, and this gathers it all together

First off, on a very, very local note, fellow blogger and gaming creative NikChik was a recent victim of Drive-By-Pornography. You know those mini-vans, with the little TVs in the back, mounted on the ceiling? And how the commercials for these vans they always show some candy-colored cartoon entertaining the kids? Well, in the real world they are sometimes showing porn flicks (talk about your driver distraction). So you’re at the stoplight with your kids while some unclad duo/trio/foursome/moresome is doing the horizontal mambo on the screen in the next car over. Yes, it’s a public nuisance and no, it’s not a free speech issue.

Of course, more of a free speech issue is the fact that Mike Aivaz has been bounced off local public access TV. Mike, who runs the Mike Hunt show (precise diction is so important when discussing this) runs hard-core porn on his show, supposedly as a “deterrent” to all the violence on the tube. Despite running oh-god-late at night (though everyone I spoke with on this knew the time of the show), it was determined to be obscene and was removed. While this is the latest round in an ongoing struggle of determining community values, does this mean that liberal, liberal West Coast is getting more conservative?

Hold that thought before you answer, because from down the coast, Adelphia Cable, known for its conservative bent and family-friendly fare, has STARTED airing hardcore porn (and though I caught it as a “look-at-those-Californians” story, they’re doing it in Upstate New York as well). Adelphia has had financial problems for the past few years, and porn looks like a hail-mary pass to keep them afloat as they move through bankruptcy court.

But that’s what pornography in America is all about – if you give it away for free, its bad, but if it has a business plan, its good. For future reference, here’s the current status of the types of TV:
Broadcast VHF – Very limited – massive freaking over Janet Jackson’s shuriken-shrouded nipple.
Basic Cable – Some adult language and subject matter, digitalized blur over anything interesting, badly dubbed replacements for the naughty words.
Premium Cable –Nudity! Bad language! Teenagers everywhere willing to watch the scrambled feed!

So the answer for Mr. Aivaz is to get his own show on Adelphia, and charge for it.

And speaking of Basic Cable, the latest atwitter in the News Band (the late forties on our channels), is the pseudo-journalist in the White House Press Briefings who floated administration-friendly questions, who turned out to have minimal credentials, who got into the White House and reported under a false name, and who worked for a news organization that is a PR adjunct for the GOP. None of this seemed particularly newsworthy to the Press Corps that surrounded this imposter, until it was also revealed that he was deeply involved in gay porn sites. NOW the media is suddenly paying attention, because, of course, it’s not about the sex, it’s about the deception.

Uh-HUH. Actually it’s about the fact that this guy is passing himself off as a reporter for over two years, surrounded by reporters, and none of his co-workers gets a clue. This clown was taunting those few who did point out his questionable background, right up to the point where the porn site report surfaced (along with “male escort services”), at which point he vanished like a three-card-monte dealer hearing the heavy tread of flat feet. He has now decided not to talk to the press anymore.

And since no gathering of questionable conservative ethics is complete without a mention of Sinclair Media, Rolling Stone turned over some rocks and discovered that its head honcho (David Smith) got his start making bootleg copies of porn films in the basement of one of his father’s properties back in the 70s. I just have to say that I am shocked, simply shocked, that the well-off citizens in this country have nothing better to do than to engage in such prurient activities.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going cruising for minivans. More later,