Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Holy Media Manipulation!

So I've been wrestling with the reason why I can't seem to warm up to John Kerry. I've stated earlier that any of the Demo Candidates would make a better leader than the guy we got. In addition, the Kerry campaign was the only one to respond to my blanket primary question, and his organization seems both intelligent and dedicated without being rabid. He's got a smidgen more charisma than the current guy, and seems more cool-headed, and less dogmatic. He's a little more to the left than most (though not much) and his senate record, which I fear will provide fodder for flip-flop attacks, actually shows a more reasonable and consensus-building legislator. He's a war hero. His initials are JFK. He's got a hot babe wife. So what's the problem? Why is my spider-sense buzzing around him?

Then I looked at the name again. John Kerry.  JOhn KERry. JOKER.

Oh. My. God.  John Kerry is the Joker!

Its obvious! Why hasn't anyone seen it before? That lean jawline! That hair of an unnatural demeanor! That wry sense of humor! The JOKER IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

Even the Botox rumors now make sense - the Joker used his special "Joker gas" to kill his enemies, leaving a rictus grin on their faces - its a easy leap to using it on himself to give himself a solid, stolid look! Without his own special "de-Joker gas", he'd be grinning ear to ear with maniacal glee!

And Look! There's a photo of him riding a Harley. A HARLEY! He's rubbing our noses in it!. I wouldn't be surprised if his wife refers to him as "Pudding" and "Mr. J" and has black and red spandex hanging in her closet!

Why is the media missing this? What conspiracy is going on? Well, let's see. The Joker is a character in the DC Comics Universe. DC was owned by Warner, and now is part of the Time/Warner/AOL Synergy empire!  Of COURSE! THAT's why they're going easy on him. He's one of them! Its all a plan! We have to act at once!

Tell the People! Tell the People!

More Later,